The Moment!!!

The act of holding her was that of a genuine affection, an affection that shouldn't have been there in the first place. She was in a committed relationship and he had no intention of being in one. Even if he succeeded in conquering her heart through his touch, he would never stay. He is a loner after all. Commitment has never been his forte. This moment was dangerous. She was still lying in his hold, feeling helpless even though it just needed a slight push to break away. She was shifting uncomfortably but never breaking away. “You can’t be trusted” she said, something he already knew. A slight shameless nod was all she got from him. He loosened his grip a little bit making it clear that she had full freedom to break off the embrace. She wanted to, but she knew that a small persuasion from him, and she could stay in that moment for ever. He, himself, was scared of the intimacy but this time he was addicted to it, addicted to her, her smell, her brace. They both were in love with that moment. But the moment passed away.

A chilling day everyday!!!

It’s a chilling day if the child who should have been taken by its family to the nearby mosque is instead being taken, in pieces, to the nearby mass burial site. It’s Eid after all, isn’t it?

Oh, you heartless Israel.

It’s a chilling day when few men decide to gang rape two sisters and then hang them on a tree and the local authority is clueless.

Oh, you insensitive Indians, why can’t you respect your women?

It’s a chilling day if children are being brutally shot by a crazy maniac and the law is helpless day after day.

Oh, you Stupid, Stupid American arm’s law. Doesn’t America has any common sense?

It’s a chilling day when you hear stories about Buddhist monks being a part of a communal riot.

What on earth is happening in Sri Lanka? Aren’t Buddhists the most peaceful people on earth?

It’s a chilling day when any country threatens another country with a nuclear strike!

I mean who does that? But then North Korea is filled with completely insane people.

It’s a chilling day when a 7 year old girl and her baby sister are killed in a mob riot over the accusations of blasphemy on one of her community members.

Now don’t you start with Pakistan, the country is a lost cause.

It’s a chilling day when someone abducts 300 school going innocent girls, trade them and then go on to use religion as excuse to rape their own country women.

As disgusting as it sounds, it’s Nigeria. That’s why they are probably not even called a 3^rd world country, isn’t it?

It’s a chilling day when some people get in a car and goes on a shooting spree killing each and every one they see just because they recently “won” the town after a bloody battle.

ISIS in Iraq simply has no values; they can’t be men of religion.

I don’t know why I wrote what I wrote, may be because I am equally fed up with the reactions as I am with the incidents. As a part of the group who takes pride in calling itself humans, I am deeply aghast by the lack of simple humanity.

We are not helping when we are “Like”ing these on facebook, neither are we helping when we are retweeting news of these ghastly incidents, nor are we helping when we are writing blogs about it (like this one).

Yes, obviously we all are spreading the message, what can we do more? Well, we can’t get into army and start saving the innocents in Gaza (that will only add to the killings after all), we can’t go and fight the government of “US of A” (or maybe ‘we’ can), we can’t go and fight the Boko Haram in Nigeria, we can’t go and take a stand for a women in a far out Indian village.

We can’t change the past, neither can we immediately change the present but we sure can be part of the change for the future generations.

Let us ask ourselves today, why are some of the things that are happening are actually happening? What are the actions that have led to this horrifying present of ours and then let’s ask ourselves why can’t WE play a part in a better tomorrow? Our generation isn’t getting any more peaceful tomorrow. More the dialogue of world peace, faster is our generation slipping into the darkness. A very basic strand is missing from the DNA of our society. A common man has never had so much power and yet has never felt so powerless. It’s time for us to realise that we too have a part to play in our future.

Today, when a 10yr old girl is warning her 6yr old sister not to go off at night because something might happen to her, we have to ask ourselves what more can we do than updating our statuses about “when that 6yr old sister of her didn’t listen to her elder sibling”.

I am no one to tell you what you should be doing; it’s your work to figure that out. But let’s take a pledge, decide, stand up, and do something for a better tomorrow!!! Something at least!!!

May be, just maybe, when most of us are doing something, we finally have that better future.

First day at my new school!

I still remember the day, as if it was only yesterday. It was 7.40 in the morning and I had just lined up outside the school gate with all the other early arrivals. They all were looking at me, or was I just too conscious? I wouldn't know. I was simply too busy trying hard not to look them in their eyes, just in case someone found me interesting and wanted to talk to me. I kept looking here and there. My nervousness was way too obvious from my body language. With my shoulders bent and head hung as low as possible, I waited and waited till at around 7.50 AM the watchman finally opened the doors to “my would be second home”.

Not really knowing what to do next, I simply followed the herd of students. As I passed the watchman, I said “Good Morning Bhaiya”, something my parents had taught me to do. His reaction told me that I had done something completely unexpected. He stared at me for full 5 seconds as I kept walking straight feeling his gaze on the back of my head. It must have been the fact that I was the only one who wished him. I was quite shocked to see that none of the kids greeted him, “what a shame?” I thought to myself.

Anyways, overcoming the watchman’s intense glare, I entered the school premises and, and simply kept standing. It was too much to take in. A tall building with a very small field space suddenly hovered over me. The intensity of bright yellow was eye catching. I stared around trying to take in every little detail that I could. May be, doing this while standing at the center of the assembly hall was not a good idea. Every one kept on giving me those weird looks. That weird “out of place” feeling crept in and I again became conscious of my movements. I realized that I was the only one who had no surety in his movement. All the students seemed so confident and smart. I was jealous.

I was just beginning to settle with those looks when the teachers arrived on the ground. Well, that was it! I completely lost every bit of self confidence. I simply froze. One of the stern looking teachers was fast approaching towards me. I felt dreaded. “I need to move, right now” I remember thinking to myself. I garnered all my courage to muster just two words to the nearest standing kid. “Class second?” I asked, “Upstairs, right side” came a swift reply. The approaching teacher was just 5 steps away now. I simply beat a hasty retreat towards the direction of my new class.

I had successfully ignored the first dangerous encounter for now, but what about the kids in my class?  “How on earth will I talk to them? Will they want to talk to me? Will they be my friend? Will they accept me, or make fun of me?” all these questions were making my mind go numb as my legs kept moving. I was moving at a snail’s pace and yet, I reached there within 5 minutes. “Damn” I cursed. I remember seeing the label outside the class reading in big bold letters “2^nd B”. I did think of going back to the safety of my house for a second but that thought quickly vanished as I saw another teacher coming towards where I was standing. I had to go inside now. “Okay Snehal, time to take the plunge and meet your new class!” With heavy and highly unsure heart, I entered the class.

“GOOODD MOORRNNINNGG SSIIRRR” came the sound of at least 30 kids.

“Aah Crap! What have I done?” I thought to myself. “Good morning Kids, I am your new teacher!” I don’t know how, but I managed a broad smile.

The Dilemma Of The Next Moment

“In about 2 seconds the next moment will be gone.”

 No, this is not one of those blogs where someone tells you to go jump off a cliff, go deep down the ocean, pack your bags and vanish or feel the adrenaline rush every other second. Frankly, as lucrative as the now famous “You Only Live Once (YOLO)” concept sounds it still cannot deny the more realistic but not equally famous concept of “You only die once (YODO)”. This is the blog where I ask you to value each moment in your own way. Here I will ask you to simply give equal importance to each and every moment.

Now, I have told you what this blog is about. If you are smart enough, you will stop reading and go about your daily life doing justice with each moment you live; but then, we all can use a little push every now and then.

You all know about the guy who lived every moment, said yes to everything, partied hard, travelled around like hippies etcetera.... don’t you? Exactly! This guy never existed or even if he did he never mattered enough to make an impression on to anyone’s mind.

At least you all would know about the guy who sat back, relaxed, did his time in the office, came back to his family, watched news, went on family trips once or twice a year etcetera...don’t you? Well, everyone knows that guy. This guy has mortgages and he has plans for them. He is respected in the society. All in all, he is satisfied, well, almost satisfied.

I won’t even bother to waste your time by talking about the guy who wasted his life.

And finally, the guy who has immaculate long term plans, who does justice with his time, who has hunger in his eyes but satisfaction in his heart. He works hard but knows when to sit back and, more importantly, how to relax. He is the one who knows where he is going or at least trusts his ability to keep going. He is the guy who will take the risks but knows the subtle difference between stupidity and bravery.

Living each moment, as if it were your last, is not important but being satisfied with that moment is. Quotes like “I can live my whole life in this very moment” and “It’s this very moment that counts and all other moments are just figments of your imagination” are too romantic for the real world.

Steve jobs very famously said “If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?” The problem with this magnificent quote is that it makes many people think “Oh my god! If today was really my last day, would I really want to go to college?” or “Oh no, if today is my last day, does my family have enough to survive after me? Am I working hard enough or should I be clocking in more hours at work?”

What Mr. Jobs really meant was that we should just love what we are doing. Frankly, if you don’t like going to college then in all probability, you are pursuing the wrong degree. Period.

In all fairness, life is long enough to do things you want to do. Or let me re-phrase it; “Life is long enough to do things you “really” want to do”. But at the same time, life is too short to waste your time “over” thinking issues or doing things you don’t like to indulge in. You just can’t go about life in a random fashion.

Know where you are going, be sure of your efforts, be calm about your approach, enjoy this moment but prepare for the many to come. Have the courage to take your own decisions, have the humility to respect each moment and at the same time have the intelligence to value all the moments that are yet to come.

So, like they say...... GO! LIVE!!!

Into The Oblivion

In the heart of the crowd, my existence was lost. They never cared for me or my existence, but I still had to smile and make them feel like they mattered. My oblivion was limited to their minds, for they could see me and my smile. With teary eyes I kept on staring at them, but they never looked twice. All that they wanted to see was my smile, not the sorrow in my eyes. I had put myself out there yet my pains were away from their glare. I didn't matter to them, as long as they mattered; well at least they thought they mattered.

But deep down they knew they didn't. My gloom was deep in slumber, so was theirs. They accepted it, at least to themselves, if not to the world. They were as much in pain as was I. But somehow I could see their eyes; my stare was focusing on their souls and not on their fake exteriors, but why? Why were they a factor in my consideration when I wasn't in theirs’?

Why weren't their hollow eyes an excuse for me to keep smiling? Instead I was drawn into them, their eyes. Instead of their emptiness, I saw a window, a path to their souls. But did I really want to take this path less traveled? My teary eyes wanted a partner, but so did my smile. My happiness, my sadness and me, none of us wanted to be alone in this crowd of unknown faces. Yes they were unknown, they are unknown and that is how I would like them to be. Their false impersonation of someone they wanted to be was good enough for me. Just like my smile was enough for theirs.

I had seen people change in a moment’s notice. I know for sure that images can be shattered in seconds. So no, I didn't want to know who they really were. Like everything around, they would change and then all that my eyes would be left with will be their false image and more tears. I won’t blame them. Life is too cruel and at times, we do things which change us, change us from within. No, the smile remains, and so does the tears, but the reasons change.

I have long lost the battle of trying to know who they really were, that’s the reason for my smiles today. I don’t judge them, not anymore. I meet them, I smile at them and then I continue on my path of oblivion. The moment, when our eyes meet, my pains find a silent companion. My tears have learned to stay happy forever with just a moment’s joy. And that’s all that matters to me.

Ode to marriage!

I will be lost in your eyes,

For eternity and beyond.

But I will find myself,

The moment you are gone.

On my soul, on my heart,

You shall have every right.

But your face will be forgotten,

Every time we indulge in a fight.

I will remember all the vows,

Forever shall I respect marriage.

But there will be times, my love,

When I will forget all with your age.

Sometime later, we shall have children,

Our family would be complete.

And those will be the exact times,

I shall have my poison...neat.

We shall always be together,

Till death do us apart.

So I will never leave your side,

Till death actually plays its part.

Never Again!!!

In the middle of the game came a voice “Can I play too?” the voice was followed by a slightly dented figure of a boy who couldn't even stand straight. “Aah, such a poor soul he is. He should definitely play with us.” came a righteous voice from within. But at the same instant came another and more empowered voice from within, this time my lips were moving. “How can you? Have you even seen yourself? Even if we make you the umpire you will end up disturbing the bowler.” My friends gave me a look of shock and shame. The poor boy meekly smiled at me, gave a sideways look towards the bat he so dearly wanted to hold, and started walking away from us.

“What had just happened? I could have never said those words, no...not possible” I thought to myself. But yet I did; I did say those words. I was in denial. An instant excuse was needed to be found to feel better of myself.

“Don’t worry, world is full of bullies, you just helped the guy by not being gentle towards him. You are simply preparing him for the cruel world.” I consoled myself.

Yes, this excuse seemed genuine and like a good defense. It could definitely stand the trial in the court of my conscience. I felt slightly better. Alas, the very next moment I was filled with anger and shame. The defense had failed me; it didn't work.

My friends continued with their look of disdain. They kept staring towards me as a crowd stares towards a drunkard who was beating his own family. I repulsed them. I tried to put my failed defense across to my friends hoping for a different output. I tried sounding like a mahatma who had just prepared a pure heart for this impure world.

One of my friends came and gave me a big jolt. “Yes, you are right, yes the world will be mean to him, cruel at every possible step but you, my friend, just lost that one chance of being different, proving that you are better than this cruel world. There still will be many people who would be respectful and accepting of that soul, but how will you accept yourself if you continue to be like this? This world has enough evil; don’t add one more to the list. Be different, be better”

“Oh, don’t patronize me” I blurted as I pushed him away and walked off the field in anger. Anger towards my words and my actions. In my effort of being realistic I had forgotten the most real of human emotions, “respect”. I wasn't judgmental of that boy, I was simply disrespectful. That day I was confused between the realism of the world and my own reality.

“Never again shall the world would influence my actions” I decided. “Never again!”

P.S : : As it turned out, I was actually judgmental of this world. The boy is currently working in a big corporate as a kick ass coder.