The Dilemma Of The Next Moment

“In about 2 seconds the next moment will be gone.”

 No, this is not one of those blogs where someone tells you to go jump off a cliff, go deep down the ocean, pack your bags and vanish or feel the adrenaline rush every other second. Frankly, as lucrative as the now famous “You Only Live Once (YOLO)” concept sounds it still cannot deny the more realistic but not equally famous concept of “You only die once (YODO)”. This is the blog where I ask you to value each moment in your own way. Here I will ask you to simply give equal importance to each and every moment.

Now, I have told you what this blog is about. If you are smart enough, you will stop reading and go about your daily life doing justice with each moment you live; but then, we all can use a little push every now and then.

You all know about the guy who lived every moment, said yes to everything, partied hard, travelled around like hippies etcetera.... don’t you? Exactly! This guy never existed or even if he did he never mattered enough to make an impression on to anyone’s mind.

At least you all would know about the guy who sat back, relaxed, did his time in the office, came back to his family, watched news, went on family trips once or twice a year etcetera...don’t you? Well, everyone knows that guy. This guy has mortgages and he has plans for them. He is respected in the society. All in all, he is satisfied, well, almost satisfied.

I won’t even bother to waste your time by talking about the guy who wasted his life.

And finally, the guy who has immaculate long term plans, who does justice with his time, who has hunger in his eyes but satisfaction in his heart. He works hard but knows when to sit back and, more importantly, how to relax. He is the one who knows where he is going or at least trusts his ability to keep going. He is the guy who will take the risks but knows the subtle difference between stupidity and bravery.

Living each moment, as if it were your last, is not important but being satisfied with that moment is. Quotes like “I can live my whole life in this very moment” and “It’s this very moment that counts and all other moments are just figments of your imagination” are too romantic for the real world.

Steve jobs very famously said “If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?” The problem with this magnificent quote is that it makes many people think “Oh my god! If today was really my last day, would I really want to go to college?” or “Oh no, if today is my last day, does my family have enough to survive after me? Am I working hard enough or should I be clocking in more hours at work?”

What Mr. Jobs really meant was that we should just love what we are doing. Frankly, if you don’t like going to college then in all probability, you are pursuing the wrong degree. Period.

In all fairness, life is long enough to do things you want to do. Or let me re-phrase it; “Life is long enough to do things you “really” want to do”. But at the same time, life is too short to waste your time “over” thinking issues or doing things you don’t like to indulge in. You just can’t go about life in a random fashion.

Know where you are going, be sure of your efforts, be calm about your approach, enjoy this moment but prepare for the many to come. Have the courage to take your own decisions, have the humility to respect each moment and at the same time have the intelligence to value all the moments that are yet to come.

So, like they say...... GO! LIVE!!!

Into The Oblivion

In the heart of the crowd, my existence was lost. They never cared for me or my existence, but I still had to smile and make them feel like they mattered. My oblivion was limited to their minds, for they could see me and my smile. With teary eyes I kept on staring at them, but they never looked twice. All that they wanted to see was my smile, not the sorrow in my eyes. I had put myself out there yet my pains were away from their glare. I didn't matter to them, as long as they mattered; well at least they thought they mattered.

But deep down they knew they didn't. My gloom was deep in slumber, so was theirs. They accepted it, at least to themselves, if not to the world. They were as much in pain as was I. But somehow I could see their eyes; my stare was focusing on their souls and not on their fake exteriors, but why? Why were they a factor in my consideration when I wasn't in theirs’?

Why weren't their hollow eyes an excuse for me to keep smiling? Instead I was drawn into them, their eyes. Instead of their emptiness, I saw a window, a path to their souls. But did I really want to take this path less traveled? My teary eyes wanted a partner, but so did my smile. My happiness, my sadness and me, none of us wanted to be alone in this crowd of unknown faces. Yes they were unknown, they are unknown and that is how I would like them to be. Their false impersonation of someone they wanted to be was good enough for me. Just like my smile was enough for theirs.

I had seen people change in a moment’s notice. I know for sure that images can be shattered in seconds. So no, I didn't want to know who they really were. Like everything around, they would change and then all that my eyes would be left with will be their false image and more tears. I won’t blame them. Life is too cruel and at times, we do things which change us, change us from within. No, the smile remains, and so does the tears, but the reasons change.

I have long lost the battle of trying to know who they really were, that’s the reason for my smiles today. I don’t judge them, not anymore. I meet them, I smile at them and then I continue on my path of oblivion. The moment, when our eyes meet, my pains find a silent companion. My tears have learned to stay happy forever with just a moment’s joy. And that’s all that matters to me.

Ode to marriage!

I will be lost in your eyes,

For eternity and beyond.

But I will find myself,

The moment you are gone.

On my soul, on my heart,

You shall have every right.

But your face will be forgotten,

Every time we indulge in a fight.

I will remember all the vows,

Forever shall I respect marriage.

But there will be times, my love,

When I will forget all with your age.

Sometime later, we shall have children,

Our family would be complete.

And those will be the exact times,

I shall have my poison...neat.

We shall always be together,

Till death do us apart.

So I will never leave your side,

Till death actually plays its part.

Never Again!!!

In the middle of the game came a voice “Can I play too?” the voice was followed by a slightly dented figure of a boy who couldn't even stand straight. “Aah, such a poor soul he is. He should definitely play with us.” came a righteous voice from within. But at the same instant came another and more empowered voice from within, this time my lips were moving. “How can you? Have you even seen yourself? Even if we make you the umpire you will end up disturbing the bowler.” My friends gave me a look of shock and shame. The poor boy meekly smiled at me, gave a sideways look towards the bat he so dearly wanted to hold, and started walking away from us.

“What had just happened? I could have never said those words, no...not possible” I thought to myself. But yet I did; I did say those words. I was in denial. An instant excuse was needed to be found to feel better of myself.

“Don’t worry, world is full of bullies, you just helped the guy by not being gentle towards him. You are simply preparing him for the cruel world.” I consoled myself.

Yes, this excuse seemed genuine and like a good defense. It could definitely stand the trial in the court of my conscience. I felt slightly better. Alas, the very next moment I was filled with anger and shame. The defense had failed me; it didn't work.

My friends continued with their look of disdain. They kept staring towards me as a crowd stares towards a drunkard who was beating his own family. I repulsed them. I tried to put my failed defense across to my friends hoping for a different output. I tried sounding like a mahatma who had just prepared a pure heart for this impure world.

One of my friends came and gave me a big jolt. “Yes, you are right, yes the world will be mean to him, cruel at every possible step but you, my friend, just lost that one chance of being different, proving that you are better than this cruel world. There still will be many people who would be respectful and accepting of that soul, but how will you accept yourself if you continue to be like this? This world has enough evil; don’t add one more to the list. Be different, be better”

“Oh, don’t patronize me” I blurted as I pushed him away and walked off the field in anger. Anger towards my words and my actions. In my effort of being realistic I had forgotten the most real of human emotions, “respect”. I wasn't judgmental of that boy, I was simply disrespectful. That day I was confused between the realism of the world and my own reality.

“Never again shall the world would influence my actions” I decided. “Never again!”

P.S : : As it turned out, I was actually judgmental of this world. The boy is currently working in a big corporate as a kick ass coder.

To ma'am Chief Minister!!!

To respected CM of Delhi,

In the past I have been among your ardent followers, till obviously the grand debacle of C.W.G. I still kind of believed in you as I blamed everything on that Kalmadi guy. But then the incident of 16th December shook me. No, don’t get me mistaken; my reverence for you didn’t vanish immediately after the incident. It could have been a one off incident after all. But what really shook me was your reaction when you hopelessly asked the girls not to venture out in night and tried to shed tears at India Gate. That was the day when I truly believed that you have lost it. Instead of becoming the symbol of our hope, you became the face of our hopelessness. If a CM of the state is helpless about a crime committed in her own state then what right does she have to lead? What way can she possibly show to the masses?

I am a teacher in Delhi and daily I come face to face with the ugly face of the education system here (in particular). Your claim, which you so shamelessly keep shouting on every radio and TV channel now a days, that government education system has improved a “million” times is simply hilarious. Ma’am, trust me when I say this that anyone who is in the education sector in Delhi knows the appalling conditions of the education sector here, and by anyone I mean even the tea vendor who sells tea in front of your schools. Any government which is advertising its failing education system in its re-election campaign should be ashamed. Let alone the government of the capital city of a country which is one of the fastest growing economies in the world.

Government school kids are turning into local goons; midday meals are anything but edible; and even though the enrollment rate is pretty high, anyone who checks the daily attendance sheet can easily get the real picture. Anyways, I don’t want to go into the details because I am pretty sure that you already know them but your blatant hypocrisy is stopping you from accepting it.

Respected ma’am, I know living in Delhi, you automatically inherit this bold nature, but just one small request, please be bold, not shameless.

Your ex-supporter

A new life!!!

Something new, something exciting

That’s all I ask from life every morning

And I am thankful that a blank slate, a loving mind,

Every day, that’s exactly what I find.

Yesterday’s anger that I might have vented,

All gone and no spirits dented.

These little hearts never hold grudges,

Aah, such great minds on such small benches.

These lovely smiles always inspire,

Their eyes have such huge dreams for which they aspire.

As soon as I enter, they greet me with their eyes lit up

And power of their innocent smiles charges me up.

Life is simple, life is beautiful

Life has become all about school, school, school.

Daily these kids make me enact so many fictions,

And just like that, life seems perfect with all its imperfections!!!

I am grade 2 teacher in a low income school, if you want to help, here is the "Link for donation to my class".

Thanks!!!

DEATH will not be enough!!!

The night of 16^th December, 2012 was the night that showed us the grim image of the society we live in. The night one “nameless” girl was brutally tortured by 6 “faceless” devils of our society. I call the girl “nameless” because firstly, I hate the names given to her by the TRP hungry media houses and secondly, because it isn’t about that one girl who died a horrific death, a point all the protestors shouting at the India Gate so easily forgot. I call the 6 devils faceless because it isn’t just about these 6 men, such men continue to exist within our society and such gruesome events continue to happen all across India. If we really believe that by just hanging those 4 devils we will be honouring the memory of that “nameless” girl then may be, we really are naive.

Since that cruel night of 16^th December, there has been a death lust across the country. Youth gathered all across the country to form a protest that could have ashamed the then recently concluded “I am Anna” protests.  At that time, these youths had the power and even showed the will, at times, to change the system. But sadly, they never understood their responsibility. They never could be sure what they really wanted. Few of the banners at India gate actually were asking to torture these men in similar fashion. I remember a famous Bollywood actor who had joined the protest actually talking about using his licensed gun on eve teasers. One thing we all fail to understand is that the source of the problem cannot be part of the solution.

For all those who think that the nameless girl has got her justice, I have one question for you “What happened to the PCR vans attendants who were fighting over jurisdiction while the girl and her friend were in semi nude state on the road?”

For all those who think society’s mindset has changed after that incident, I have one question “Where are those people who never stopped to help the two helpless souls? Are they reformed?”

For all those who think that all the rapists across India have got a lesson through this judgement, I have one question for you “Will there be any decrease in the number of rapes across the country because of this so called ‘landmark’ judgement?”

For all those who think our society, especially our youth, has unified after all this, I have few questions “Why is this unity limited to only one case? Where was this unity when a brutally raped 7 years old girl’s father was being bribed by the police asking him not to file an FIR? Where was this unity when a lady after being brutally raped was hanged by the tree in semi nude state in Guwahati? Why such a selective reaction?”

If you are satisfied by this judgement and you think incidents like these will not be repeated then may be posting facebook statuses is exactly what you should be doing. And if you are not, then it’s time to find the root of the issue and start fixing it. Our country may have never faced such a huge value deficit in our society. The incident of 16^th December isn’t the fault of only those 6 men; the truth is we failed as a society. Our values are lost and these incidents will keep on happening until and unless these values are reinstated from root level.

I am a teacher in a low income private school, and I have seen and experienced the root cause of this value deficit in my own community. Our classrooms are nothing but rote learning centers. A country which was so proud of its values once has completely spoiled its base. The truth of today’s classroom is that a 4^th grade kid is “teasing” girls to show off in front of his friends, an 8^th grade kid openly “pushes” girls and is proud of it, a gang of 10^th grade “kids” gathers on the road in front of their school to pass lewd comments on any “item” that comes their way. This is the reality that all these blood thirsty people have ignored. This is the reality that needs to be dealt. Hanging those criminals can’t stop anything now, what’s done is done. But handling these valueless kids can stop almost everything that’s wrong with our society.

I am a teacher and i am writing this article because i am appalled by the lack of values in our system. My imminent focus is a value based class. I take it as my responsibility to go around in the community and see the kind of values my kids are learning. If a teacher cannot instil the right values in his/her kids, then may be, he/she should be doing something else. If you are a teacher, it is your responsibility too.

But if you think it’s only the responsibility of the teachers to instil values in the kids then keep waiting for another 16^th December to happen. It is our responsibility to demand for a value based system. Our system should be a preventive one instead of being a system that caters to the mob mentality. By not doing this, we are failing our kids, our future generations.

Lastly, it’s good to put facebook statuses if you can follow your words with actions. If you think that you cannot contribute then keep reassuring yourself that you actually care when really you don’t.